Life Balance – Is it Really Attainable?

So many of my clients come to me in search of “life balance”. And, quite frankly, I don’t know what to tell them!

I mean, what the heck is life balance anyway?!

Even as a counselor, I am in constant search of life balance because, most of the time, I am spread way too thin so I wind up doing everything half-assed!  Similar to the saying “jack of all trades, master of none.”  That was me for a very long time!

What’s worse is that, because I was pretty much ineffective at everything I was doing I was judging myself quite harshly because I knew I was capable of so much more. I was so much better than what I was putting out to the world.

Then one day it hit me!  Bam!

My constant effort to try to find life balance was causing me more stress, anxiety and disappointment in my life.

Our lives are constantly changing, ebbing and flowing. We don’t live in a static world. We live in a world that’s in constant motion. So, how can we attain life balance when we live in a constant state of flux?

As we follow the journey, ebbing and flowing, we’re bound to fall short … to do things half-assed! We’ll hit bumps in the road in our jobs, our marriage, our relationships … all of which come wrapped in feelings of guilt, of not being good enough … of being a failure.

Women know this more than anybody. We’re still trying to blaze our own trail, proving ourselves and, at the same time, being everything to everybody. This is a perfect set up for failure and disappointment.

If we can create a paradigm shift and start to realize that, perhaps … just perhaps … there is no such thing as life balance. If you can hold on to that thought then you free yourself up to simply do the best you can taking into account whatever life has thrown your way.

Let go of the preconcieved notion of what life balance is suppose to look like so you can free yourself from all of the woulda, coulda, shoulda’s!

Let’s let go of the terminology “life balance” and get more real with it!  Let’s call it “doing the best I can regardless of the shit life throws my way”.

With this new definition, let’s look at a few rules of engagement to ensure you are doing the best you can.

• Get clear on your non-negotiables – if you are comitted to working out everyday, DO IT! No excuses.
• Carve out some quality “Me Time” – make yourself a priority so that you are better able to take care of everything and everybody else around you.
• Stop comparing yourself to other – when you compare yourself to other people, you are living in victimhood and self loathing. Truth is, you’ll never really know what their life is like. You only know what their life appears to be. So, stop buying into the image their projecting and focus on staying grounded in your own reality.
• Be flexible – adopt a “go with the flow” kind of attitude. By doing so, you’ll minimize expectations that ultimately cause stress. And, when they aren’t met, lead to disappointment and a sense of failure.
• Decide what “doing the best I can” looks like for you – what is it you need to let go of to give yourself some breathing room? What do you need to embracet to honor yourself and your personal journey? How do you need to approach life to minimize guilt of not doing it right or good enough?

Here’s to your unbalanced, “doing the best you can” kinda life!

Hugs,