In today’s “easy button” society, people are taking a pill to be happy, using the law of attraction and positive affirmations to get rich, and using their imagination to manifest their dream house. These “quick fix” strategies appeal to the lazy, greedy, immediate gratification age we live in.
However, does it really work?
The concept of law of attraction and positive thinking is extremely popular. In a nutshell, it’s based on the concept that “like attracts like”. So, if you focus on positive thoughts, you’ll attract positive experiences into your life. Included as a subset of the law of attraction is the concept of creative visualization, mindfulness and positive affirmations … all of which are supposed to help you make significant changes in your life.
While I’m all for positive thinking, it’s not the end all, be all to living a happy life. In fact, I’ll go so far as saying that I think the law of attraction is rubbish!
Yikes! I just put myself out there, didn’t I?!
Bear with me here.
Law of Attraction Philosophy – Fact or Fiction?
Consider the philosophy of Think and Grow Rich. If you think positive thoughts and visualize money flowing to you easily and effortlessly, you’ll become a wealthy person. When it doesn’t happen, (which in most cases it won’t) it’s your fault because you’re not thinking positively enough.
Ironically, Napoleon Hill, the author of the book, was actually a poor man. He became wealthy by selling his book. So, it wasn’t positive thinking that made him wealthy … it was hard work writing the book (he didn’t just visualize it and it appeared out of thin air!) and the impressionable people who bought the book looking for a fast, easy solution!
Take a look at Rhonda Byrne, author of The Secret. Did the law of attraction really make her a multi-millionaire? Or was it the crafty, aggressive marketing campaign and the gullible audience looking for the next fast path to cash?
For some reason, we’re addicted to the “quick fix” these days. We try to take the path of least resistance and, while it may be the easiest way to go, it may not be the best way to go. In fact, I’d argue it’s doing you more harm than good!
The Problem with the Law of Attraction
When you focus on practices such as the law of attraction, positive thinking and affirmations, you’re focusing your attention and energy outward, instead of focusing your attention and energy inward. It’s a way of relieving yourself of responsibility for the kind of life you’re living.
Your personal conflicts and challenges are a reflection of you and what is repressed and unhealed. Your happiness hinges on taking responsibility for healing yourself on the deepest level. You can’t expect to find meaningful, sustaining solutions if you aren’t willing to do your own personal healing work.
Dr. Bruce Lipton, a scientist, found proof that positive thinking doesn’t work. He states that it doesn’t work because it’s done with the conscious mind when most of our conflicts and issues are present because of what resides in our unconscious mind.
For instance, you may consciously visualize a heap of money coming in and a huge bank account balance. However, unconsciously, you don’t believe you deserve it or that it’s even possible for you to be rich.
Bringing your unconscious beliefs, thoughts and feelings into consciousness is very important so you can heal. However, it can be quite challenging because it seems easier to address perceived “external” issues with externally focused strategies. While these strategies can help, true joy and happiness must come from deep within yourself.
When you focus solely on positive thinking, you aren’t being truthful with yourself. You’re ignoring a huge part of who you really are. In fact, you’re most likely desperate not to connect with your true self because that’s where pain, rage, anger, sadness, hurt and frustration lives. So, by staying positive and looking outside of yourself for solutions and answers, you can block out all of that “other stuff” and keep yourself from slipping into to depths of gloom and doom.
However, when you do this, you’re setting a trap for yourself because eventually all denied and repressed thoughts and feelings rear their ugly heads and come back to life again.
Do you really think because you don’t face it, acknowledge it or see it, that it will disappear?!
Not a chance!
They will resurface because they’re a form of energy and they have to go somewhere. They can’t sit dormant. They don’t disappear just because you want them to.
Ever heard the term, “what you resist, persists”? This is so true! So when you’re denying your negative thoughts and feelings, you’re actually making matters worse.
As I mentioned in previous posts, the first step towards healing is acknowledging and accepting your truth – the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
So, what is the truth?
The world is full of duality … positive and negative, black and white, male and female, dark and light, good and evil, full and empty. You’re made up of dualities … love and hate, sadness and happiness, anger and fear, fight or flight – you get the idea.
The truth is that you’re made of up pairs of opposites and those opposites make one whole. So, my philosophy is holistic and realistic because no matter what … opposites are always there. They always co-exist.
Focusing on one side of the pair of opposites is like focusing on a half-truth. A half-truth is the same as a lie and you can’t find happiness, joy and meaning in your life by lying to yourself.
As a result, it’s important to acknowledge and accept your negative thoughts and feelings because, left untended, it manifests in negative energy that will stop you from living a happy, fulfilling life. Once you acknowledge and accept them, you can permanently transform them from a real, genuine place.
It’s important to seek, acknowledge and accept your truth … no matter how disturbing it might be. Living in your truth takes courage, but it’s fundamental to healing and living a life where you can be grounded in all of who you are. It is the key to transforming your life.
The truth … no harm, no foul, no judgement. It simply is what it is. You’re human. You’re not perfect. We’re all on this earth to learn about life, about love and to get closer to our true divine spiritual selves.
So, should you stop thinking positive thoughts? Absolutely not! They can be beneficial. However, don’t solely focus on the positive and ignore the negative. In fact, I’d argue that it’s harmful to even label thoughts and feelings as positive or negative, good or bad. After all, they are what they are … simply thoughts and feelings.
As the saying goes … “The Truth Shall Set You Free”!
Don’t label or approach your thoughts and feelings as positive or negative, good or bad. Simply honor them for what they are … your truth! Then decide from there what you want to do with them. If they serve you and make your life better, great! If not, find a way to deal with them, process through them and heal them so they don’t weigh you down anymore!
Be willing to do the deep work so that you can truly live a happy, fulfilling, joyful life again!
What’s your truth? What thoughts, beliefs or feelings do you have tucked away in the dungeon? Maybe it’s time to ask them to come out and play! Hmmm …
Joyously Yours,
Dana
